Life & People> Featured: Boys before business

Image courtesy: Femina.in

Jennifer Wilkov and Kimberly Mylls' just released revolutionary book 'Boys Before Business: The Single Girl's Guide to Having It All'claims that if you put your relationship before everything else, you'll be blessed with a great love life and a rocking career! But is it fair to put your man before your career? We find out what women think... 

The key issue

Ok, so you’re the head-honcho of your company and everybody looks up to you, but on a date… they just see a woman who they think will never be “girlfriend material” because she’s too caught up in her career! Stings, doesn’t it? On the other hand, you’ve given your precious years to your man, your home, your family but when you talk about a career, you’re just given sympathetic glances. “Do you think you will be able to handle it?” is all you get. Equally unfair! So is there finally hope for us new-age women who want everything from life? Yes there is. With the right amount of patience and perseverance, you can have your cake and eat it too!

Find your anchor

Rolly Srivastava, a rising HR professional, went head over heels just after graduation and married her man a couple of years later. From there they moved towards new careers together and have been successfully married for four years now and still going strong. She believes, that “if you keep your man before everything, and the same is true for him, both of you will be able to rise above your individual aspirations and smoothly run alongside each other.” According to her the key is to find the right person. Vinita Rishi, successful interior designer, married for seven years and now an expectant mother looks at the issue a little differently. “Putting one before the other is not the solution… both have to want the same things from their life together,” she construes. This will help in looking at the bigger picture and at the ultimate goals in life. If both partners are clear on the kind of life they want as a couple, any other discrepancies like working hours, income, and professional status, become minor bumps on the way that can be navigated successfully.

Don’t be hard on yourself

Putting your man and relationship before everything else doesn’t have to translate as waiting on him 24x7. Be there for him, but don’t hover over him. Instead, utilize the monetary benefits your career provides, to make life easier for yourself. So to say, employ a full time maid, a cook etc. so that not only does your house gets managed efficiently, you can also concentrate on your work and spend time with your man guilt-free!

Tanya Munshi, editor and travel expert, moves frequently because of her husband’s job and has therefore opted for a career that she can pursue over the internet. She swears by this smart move and asserts that “today women know what they want and they want both-career and family; a woman has to learn to strike a balance; she should be prepared to make the necessary adjustments and not be too rigid in her life’s ways.” So in lieu of having the pleasure of welcoming your man every evening with a smile, if you have to make a concession to the idea of sitting in a corner office dressed in the latest Allen Solly, is that too hard a bargain?

If you can’t juggle, compartmentalize!

Lipsa Misra fell in love and could barely wait to finish her MBA before she got married. She conceived just when she was offered a lucrative position but decided to make a family instead. Today, with her son almost 2 years old, she has a full time nanny and is back on the job market, ready for her new phase of life! “Sometimes on a blue day I wonder if I was too young to put my career on hold… but one look at my son and I know I’ll never have any regrets,” she avers. If managing a home and work at the same time seems too daunting a prospect for you and it wrenches your heart having to choose, just pick one for a few years and immerse yourself. Life will always give you a chance to pursue the other without any emotional baggage!

Having a perfect relationship and a rocking career doesn’t seem to be such a fairy-tale after all. If nothing else, it is definitely worth trying to put your ‘Boy before Business’ and see if you can live happily ever after. Do you agree?

By Prachi S Vaish