Calcutta Restaurant Guide> Someplace Else

Image 1 - Behold - the menu card..err...plank!

Image 2: The crowd at Someplace Else

Image 3 - Basket of fries - where's the basket and where are the fries?

Text by: Tanya Munshi

Someplace Else is a haven for wannabes, snooty people, women with loud costumes and the like. I am sorry to say, Someplace Else is by far the worst place I have ever visited. Where do I begin from? Their menu card which looks like a cross between a weapon, boomerang and a Frisbee. Come on, being stylish is one thing, but one should know where to draw the line.

The food is overpriced for the paltry portions they offer. The waiters at Someplace Else have their ego and snoot up their sleeves. I am really amazed that in Calcutta, the places that I have visited so far are full of snooty staff and people and for what? Why can't just people be normal, be human!

This time some of us childhood friends who are from Mumbai met up for the first time in Calcutta. We thought it would be best to celebrate over dinner at Bar-be-Que. But one of them who was visiting Calcutta after seven years was keen on checking out the night life of the city, and was adamant no matter how much we thought it would be best for a quiet dinner for four. Reluctantly, we headed to our pub hopping spree in Calcutta.

The other friend who is also from Mumbai and owns a company in Calcutta is now more familiar with the city. He did mention that Thursdays are the most boring days for pubbing in Calcutta. Reluctantly, we headed to the Underground, but it was not open to public thanks to a private party. Then we headed to Tantra - it was empty and finally we headed to Someplace Else and it was full of I don't know what to call them.

There was a live band performance that Thursday night in Someplace Else and they were trying so hard to be cool. Somewhere they lost the connection between their audience and what they were playing.

There were hardly any women in the pub, only two or three who walked in and with what they were wearing, it was blast from the past. The dress sense was atrocious, please ladies, those are passé. Its time you moved on with your dress sense.

I am told that Someplace Else was one of the best and hottest night clubs in Calcutta, I believe them. But now, they tell me, its no longer that good.

A place gets its reputation, character and style not only from the people who work there, but also with the clientele who visit; and neither of this was good at Someplace Else. I recommend, if at all you are planning to visit Someplace Else in Calcutta, either you skip it or go in a group as you're going to get thoroughly bored and irritated with the crowd and ambience.

When I was looking at the wooden plank of a menu card, the waiter came up to our table and turned the plank around for me with a raised eyebrow, as if I don't know how to read a menu card. I gave him dagger looks and said thanks and he apologized immediately as he realized he was trying his stunts at the wrong place.

The so called basket of fries, minus the basket of course came with a few fried onion rings, french fries and some cheese balls. We were fed up by the place and left within an hour of arriving. Someplace Else - can be totally skipped, unless The Park decides to do something positive about it.

A party at home with friends is a much better option than a visit to Someplace Else. In short, Someplace Else is a highly overpriced, snooty and a not-so-happening pub in Calcutta.

*Pricing:
Basket of Fries - Rs. 315/-
Large Blender's Pride - Rs. 350/-
Large Celebration - Rs. 350/-
Small Baccardi Breezer - Rs. 250/-

Overall Rating:
Ambience - *
Service - *
Presentation of food & drinks -  *
Quantity of food served - *
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The Snoot Factor - They top the chart!

Location:
Someplace Else,
The Park

*Please Note - Pricing may change/ vary according to location and time.